Zoe Turns 1, January Adventures in Cambodia 2018

January was a month when a lot of things hit at once. I know I can usually eek out a blog post between the kids, and the part time job, and the house work, and the Bible study, and the homeschool, and the working out, but this time it just wasn't happening. But that's for another post. Today I want to celebrate the good things that happened this January.

On the top of that list, is our sweet Zoe turning 1!!!


I remember when our first child turned 1 and had a party with lots of relatives and gifts. By the fourth child you realize that 1) you don't really need that much stuff and 2) they're not going to remember it anyway. There's always the drawback of missing family while abroad, however.

We tried this astringent tasting fruit at the market again.

We found a really cool place with a great swimming pool and playground where you can go for free if you buy food. That’s why Talia has rosy cheeks here, she’s a water baby who will stay in the pool until you make her get out!

The playground was really nice too.

It’s next to a golf driving range, so everything is covered with a net roof to catch stray balls.

The kids really enjoyed it and slept for a good 2 hours when we got home! Ben was at an Environmental Summit in Singapore for five days because the group of students needed the principal along for the trip abroad, so napping children meant more sanity for me!

Ben came home really impressed by Singapore! It was clean!

It had great museums.

And he especially liked the Singaporean chicken and rice!

I’m glad he’s back home!

Pchum Ben 2017

I’m so thankful that I was able to fly to the States for Pchum Ben this year. Ever since Zoe was born in Cambodia we’ve been trying to figure out a good time to introduce her to family in the States. We wanted to do that while she was still a baby... and she’s growing so fast it felt like time was running out. She is more social than some babies I’ve introduced (cough*Elias*cough) to family. Look how she’s studying Papa!

It was so nice to be in Texas again.

Of course, it’s easier to just sleep than be social.

How much loving is too much?

She sure has a lot of people who love her.

So now she’s met her Mississippi family and Texas family, all before she’s quite walking. That counts, right?

We are so blessed to have most of our great grandparents for our children still alive.

We even got to attend a cousin’s wedding and see more grandparents and relatives there.

Besides the people, it was nice to see green grass!

Zoe loved exploring this new green stuff.

But coming home to the loves we couldn’t afford to fly with us was special too. Now the balance is between appreciating the opportunity to go home and battling the homesickness that surges afterwards. I actually got published on this topic on a website dedicated to helping expat Christian women. I don't share this to say I am anything, but maybe my hard-to-learn-lesson about homesickness will help you too: https://velvetashes.com/homesickness-feels-uncannily-like-grief/

How to get a Cambodian birth certificate after a home birth

Hi all, this is Benjamin popping in talking about the baby popping out.  Dad joke there.

Having gone through getting a baby registered outside the US before in a somewhat more..organized..country (UAE), I knew it could be done, but HOW was the question.  

First, I asked around after we got here because all the old online advice basically said “Go to Thailand” - I figured babies were born here all the time, no big deal.  The wrench in the works was that the midwife was coming and we’d be having a homebirth.  After talking with some people who I thought had connections, (and perhaps do, in areas not related to homebirth,) my mind was at ease.  Have the baby, then deal with the paperwork.

I was told “easy - just go to Calmette Hospital after the baby is born and they will issue you a certificate, even if the baby is born at home.”  Let me tell you folks, this is NOT the case.  My wife and the midwife showed up with me and we carried that baby all over the hospital right up to the director’s office and the answer was always a look of utter confusion and resounding "NO."  While we were waiting, I decided to call the US Embassy line, as I was a bit flummoxed.  In hindsight, maybe we should have done that before :)  A quick call cleared it all up - Calmette was not the place to be.  I’ll never forget the look on director’s assistant’s face when she came back out in the hall for what had to be the fifth time, expecting me to argue with her yet again, only to have me thanking her for her time and wishing her a nice day.

Basically, we had to have the following things:

1 - Get an affidavit from the midwife (or other witness) saying the baby was born at home, what time, etc. with signature and thumbprint (they do that for everything here).  If the baby is born at a hospital, this part is unnecessary and makes #2 easier.  Everything else is the same.

2 - Take that to the sangkat (local commune) office to issue a local birth certificate.  This has to be done before baby is 30 days old.  I went with the baby and midwife and had a Khmer friend on standby who I could call to translate. That turned out to be highly necessary.  Ultimately I paid $30 to the officer at the sangkat with no receipt. I’ll let you figure out what that means.

3 - Get that birth certificate translated officially from Ministry of Foreign Affairs (I think) into English - we got several copies.  Cost about $15 - had a friend at work who knew someone there.  Relationships are super important here!

4 - Show up at US Embassy to make sure documents were all in order - then have them issue an actual appointment date.

5 - Have the appointment at US Embassy, pay for CRBA and passport - $210, I believe

6 - Get US passport about two weeks later

7 - Apply for exit visa for baby (valid for 7 days and has to be done before baby is 90 days old) - about $75.  We used Rosato Travel for these last few steps - very professional and they have great English.  http://www.rosato.asia/ They can probably arrange the translations, as well, but I didn’t need them by then.

8 - Leave country with baby and come back on same day - we ended up finding an agency to arrange #7 and take passport to border to do it for us - $180 but way cheaper than a flight and a lot less hassle.  Included initial 30-day visa which is $35 normally.

9 - Initial visa good for 30 days - renew again for one year ($295) and breathe huge sigh of relief!

These are the general steps for registering a baby.  A hospital birth would be cheaper and easier but wouldn’t change the process much.  I would definitely call your embassy to see what they require but it did all work out with not too much hassle.  Having 4 kids and dealing with several developing countries has increased my patience a lot, so if you’re a first-time parent, maybe get all the facts in order well in advance.  Getting everything done within the 90-day window is kind of tight but we did it...barely.  The only penalty is a $10-per-day fine, but nothing like deportation (probably).  And if you’re reading this, congrats on the baby!

Eating Lotus Blossoms: More Khmer Food and Baby Update

Here are a few more interesting Cambodian/Khmer foods:

This is a lotus blossom. It is sold on the side of the road and eaten in Cambodia. You push the seed out, peel the outside off and eat the white, nutty, middle part. It tastes similar to a peanut.

Do you have an opinion on tempura battered mushrooms?

Ben thinks they taste like fried chicken, Ezra eats the outside and spits out the mushroom, Talia loves them, Elias turns his nose up at them all together, and I like them! The boys like tempura onions (I totally introduced the concept of onion rings to the Cambodians here: they were amazed!) and zucchini, just not mushroom. 

It's a big, flowering, white clump of mushrooms that grow  together- I don't know their name...

Although it looks like a doughnut hole from the outside, with its sugary coating, this is no ordinary doughnut. The inside is stuffed with what tastes like cheesy mashed potatoes in a unique Cambodian spin on things. I think the outside dough is made with rice flour because it is very chewy. The mixture of savory and sweet is a little different. Also sold near it was a flatter-looking version without the sugar coating. That one had a sweet potato filling.

I'm thankful everyone has been well enough to go to school and work this week! Zoe is almost 6 weeks old today. She's very active all day long, here she was trying to tell me something, but she sleeps most of the night only waking to nurse a couple of times. 

I think all of my babies look very similar, but Ezra looked the most like me and got my mom's Swedish roots. The other three got their father's dominant genes. Can you tell who is who?

If You Need an International Midwife.... and an Update After Zoe's Birth

A lot has happened after Zoe's birth, as I'm sure is normal in families with 4 children abroad. One thing we have had to figure out has been getting Zoe's birth certificate after a home birth. It turns out to be much less complicated than we expected. I'm going to leave that post for Ben to write, as he's been dealing with most of the paperwork and can explain it better.

We, sadly, had to say goodbye to our midwife. She helped by catching Zoe, the way midwives do, but she did more than that. Just being here as another (mostly) sane, English-speaking, fellow mother after one of the most life-impacting times abroad (as birth generally is) made the transition smoother and our lives better. Her sense of humor, (when Ezra drank her mouthwash for one of many examples) adventurous spirit, (showing me parts of Cambodia I haven't been able to visit yet!) helpfulness (she taught me how to make ricotta and other things) and adaptability (Cambodia can be hard, but she didn't complain) make her special. I miss hearing her wise viewpoints on life, but I'm glad she made it safely home. If you'd like a good midwife who is willing to go abroad to help you, I highly recommend Fair Flowers Birth Services.

My sister also came and left. She doesn't like her photo online, but she took photos for us while she was here.We had fun visiting different places around Cambodia, and she especially liked bartering at the market! We miss her a lot, too.

The kids had fun taking pictures with baby Zoe. Now that everyone has gone home, we are figuring out our new normal for routines with 4 children, one of whom needs to be held most of the time right now. So far, the craziest part has been getting breakfast and kids ready for school in the mornings, but even that is smoothing out after a little bit of time.

Ezra has been struggling with breathing issues about once a month. Previously, the doctor refused to give him anything stronger than a saline nebulizing treatment as asthma is difficult to diagnose in children under 5. However, I had done everything he recommended and none of it was working. The worst part of having children is to watch them suffering and not be able to help. When Ezra comes home from school with a runny nose, he usually is struggling to breathe a day or two later. I hate going to the doctor for every little thing, so if we can take care of something at home, we do. When your child is gasping for breath, though, and the saline treatment isn't helping, a doctor is the right option! I'm thankful we have access to healthcare when we need it. This time the doctor decided it was time to have something available for when Ezra has an asthma attack and it gets this bad and gave a prescription for medication to put with the saline in an emergency. Ezra is the only one who has suffered with this so far, and every doctor he's seen expects him to grow out of it as his bronchial tubes mature. Ezra was back to his normal hyper mischief the very next day, so I think it's working, thankfully!

Zoe is growing quickly! She has gained about a pound a week and is curious about everything around her. Her schedule seems to be slowly aligning more with ours as she gets bigger and can sleep for longer periods between nursing. Talia loves having a sister and the boys are still very protective and slightly awed by the smallness of a baby. It's adorable to watch them hold her with little smiles as they exclaim "she's so cuuuuuuuute" every single time! I'm sure when she's old enough to mess with their things this will be a harder sentiment to find, so I want to remember them this way.

Pchum Ben Break

Something that makes being a teacher in Cambodia a wonderful thing are the many little breaks you get along the way for various New Year celebrations and festivals. We've had this week off for the Pchum Ben holiday. This holiday reminds me a lot of the Day of the Dead celebrations in Latin America. Most of the city has cleared out to go back to their homes in the provinces and to pay homage to dead relatives. Speaking of which, Talia must have thought the same thing because she built a wood scrap "altar" like they had in Mexico.

We've enjoyed the little traffic. It's been a great time to practice using my moped. Now, we can travel as a family with Talia and Ezra behind Ben and Elias behind me. We've checked out a market and found oatmeal, granola and corn flour; all things I had been looking for without much luck prior.

Ben took the opportunity to do some therapeutic wood working and build the boys a loft bed, to go over the single bed in their room. Currently, Ezra sleeps in a crib in the room with me, but when the baby comes, I want him to be used to sleeping in the big boy's room. The boys are excited to "help" him....

With little traffic on the roads, we had the treat of going to a restaurant. We found a Belgian restaurant/pub named Duplex still open, since most were closed for the holiday, and tried some great roasted red pepper humus, mini burgers and fries, and a salmon salad. It was all delicious. The name caused a little confusion when Ben ordered the "Duplex Beef Burger" expecting it to be a double patty burger (even asking the server) and it came out with just one.... Because it's named after the house burger, not specifically a double burger. Apparently in Belgium, fries are served with ketchup and a white sauce. It looked like mayo, but it tasted better than mayo.

So, happy Pchum Ben Day. Perhaps this holiday is a good reminder to enjoy our relatives while they're living.

September School, Birthday and Baby News

We've been deep in school routines and work lately. My second-born finds change the hardest, so it's nice to hear that he's adjusting better to classroom activities.

Some more exciting news we found out since the last post is that our new baby is a girl!!!! Everyone was hoping for a girl and very excited to know. I don't have check ups here, we just called a reputable ultrasound clinic and went. I think it was $15 for everything. We are also almost finished getting the midwife plane tickets! It's exciting!

My Talia turned 9 this month. To celebrate, we went out to a big mall with a dollar store (the best) and got really good pizza! That's rare since pizza on the street here is sweet and has weird toppings like boiled eggs. Instead of a birthday cake, she opted for doughnuts, also a rare treat.

On the way home, it started raining and the kids were excited to ride home in a downpour with the sides down on the Tuk Tuk.

Family pitched in to get her a good used bicycle, which she has wanted for years. She was ecstatic! Here, the best bikes are used ones from Japan. The shiny new ones from Vietnam break every time you look at them... But that's a story for another day.

Ezra 9.5 Months

Ezra has been growing up so quickly! It's amazing to see how different each child is from each other, even at 9 (and 1/2) months!

The weather has been beautiful lately and only started heating up the last couple of days. Because of this they've been able to ride bikes outside a lot and Ezra loves joining them on the fenced front patio in his walker. He loves feeling the breeze, and watching his brother and sister play, but if we aren't careful, he also tries to sample leaves from the trees. 

He is in the beginning stages of walking and very curious about everything within reach. He's a very social child and is always very focused on a person's eyes, mouth and reading their body language. He is quick to smile and laugh at strangers, (if I'm holding him,) and overall a happy baby. It's so sweet to see him light up when he sees his brother or sister or father walk through the door! 

Something I haven't been able to find the words to write about is the friend and midwife I had with Elias passing away in June. I still don't have the words. Thalia's receptionist/accountant/friend/birth assistant got a box of fabric from her husband to give away. In it she found a quilt Thalia had started for me/Ezra and she finished it and sent it. I bawled when I got it from the post office. It's a Spanish themed quilt with words in Spanish and English and pictures of typical Spanish scenes. It is perfect and a treasure that seems fitting for where we would like a future placement.

We are so blessed to have Ezra in our lives. We all smile more with him here!

Ezra: 2 Months

These first two months with Ezra have been good ones. I've seen a side of the older two children that I would have not been privileged to see so up close and personal otherwise. They are consistently gentle with the baby (even when they're frustrated with each other) and so excited when he "interacts" with them by smiling or sticking his tongue out, or even burping. Their reasoning for why he does any of those things is hilarious, but endearing.
Ezra has grown from this skinny little guy of 7 pounds 12 ounces at one week:

 

To a little bit bigger and more alert at two weeks.

 And chubbier now and getting some loving from Elias, who really likes to hold him. (But when Ezra starts protesting because he doesn't like laying on his back, Elias' turn is over.)

I'm thankful that he is gaining weight and sleeping well. He is generally happy unless he has a legitimate problem like hunger or pain and he's observant of what's going on around him, which is usually quite a bit with Talia and Elias "teaching him how to dance" or something equally amusing.

(Apparently, the camera doesn't look so amusing, however. We look forward to more smiles and laughs from him, too, in the coming months.)