Toddlers on Tile Floors

In Abu Dhabi all of the floors I ever saw were made of tile, perhaps to withstand inevitable sand and to be cooler. I appreciated them until Elias and then Ezra had to try to learn to walk on them- then the frequent falls in the beginning of their endeavors had me worried about their skulls and such! Since the floors were so cool and easily slick, putting sock on made it slicker and shoes made a baby learning to walk not have the grip of his toes for stability. Then, I met a friend with a solution: Coega sun wear pool shoes. http://www.coegawear.com/products.php?section=5/

They have a thin rubber-like grip bottom and a stretchy fabric top with elastic around the opening. They stay on, keep the feet warm and give traction with a bare-foot feel for a baby learning to walk on tile... And since they're technically pool shoes, even if the tile gets wet they are less likely to slip. Can you tell I was impressed? (This is not paid advertising.) Ezra is wearing them in the grass in the picture above. They do well on beach sand also.

Now the problem is that they only seem to be available in the Middle East.

Abu Dhabi to Qatar to Dallas: (Too Much Flying)

Our trip began by driving to Abu Dhabi to finish some paperwork before flying out. We picked nap time, apparently, because not long on the road, all three kids were like this:

On flying day we got up at 2 AM, well, Ben, Talia the baby and I got up, but poor Elias was in a daze. We had a one hour flight to Qatar and then a 16 hour flight to Dallas.

People ask how I can fly with two kids and a baby, and, let me tell you now, I'm no super mom. We took it one moment at a time. Talia was an amazing helper and the friendly airline staff were all incredible. Especially when tired Elias got scared of the escalator as I was going down with the baby and a bag and Talia with bags and he stood on the top and wailed. An airport guy picked him up and brought him down. I was thankful for so many blessings on flight day: The boys had gotten over the fevers that had popped up just two days before traveling, a friend had helped us figure out the luggage transportation issue (three kids, small car, 12 pieces of different kinds of luggage...), many of the people I wanted to say bye to were able to arrange a meeting, the flight went through Qatar (known for spacious and nice flying accommodations), everything was checked including the stroller smoothly and with not much of a wait, the kids behaved very well on the plane and even slept much of the time, we were surrounded with nice people who had children or didn't mind them... so many, many things went beautifully.

 Still, a 16 hour flight is no picnic. I always break it up mentally into 6 hour increments... I'm not sure that it helps, because it usually goes like this:

First 6 hours: WE DID IT! We got through 6 hours without kids melting down or the plane crashing, or a million other scenarios that lurk in the back of my mind when flying.... but then I realize that we have TEN MORE HOURS TO GO!

Second 6 hours: The baby slept for THREE CONSECUTIVE HOURS! On a normal flight that would be almost the whole flight, or at least half! I can't believe we have 4 more hours: My shoulders hurt from holding little people, my backside feels glued to the aircraft seat and my eyes hurt from the screens everywhere and crazy hours and, "did we really get up at 2AM? Why is it impossible to sleep?"

Third 6 hours: So, it's not really 6 hours, right, I just do that to make me feel better when I remember that it's less than the first. Unless you count the time in the airport and the hour driving home? "ARE WE EVER GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE... I'm starting to feel like I'm suffocating."

Regardless, we made it alive. We are now enjoying the (sneeze) flowers and green things everywhere. Everything is greeeeen! We played in the rain! We harvested things from a garden! We went to an easily accessible church! We have family close! And, maybe best of all...

THAT PLANE RIDE IS FINISHED!!!!

The "Insh'allah" Way of Raising Children

Coming from a country where parents are arrested or turned in to Child Protective Services for letting their children walk to the park alone, and then living in a place where kidnapping and other real threats existed, there's quite a bit to get adjusted to in the Arab culture. Children here are allowed to play in the streets without an adult present, though they are usually just a few steps away in their patio area or behind their window (though that's not always the case. I've heard stories of children under 10 running a house while their parents were out of country.) I've seen them run errands at the store a block away across a street. I've seen them going to the park several blocks away on their bikes. There is something refreshing about it, though I don't trust the system enough to follow suit. It does make me wonder why there is such a huge difference... and some of it seems to always go back to the concept of "Insh'allah" or "if God wills it," a phrase used for everything. A beautiful part of this concept is the complete acceptance of physically or mentally impaired children, since they are seen as something "God willed to be this way and who are we to question that?" However, it applies to the broader theme of parenting as well as there seems to be an underlying acceptance of the thought that "nothing can happen to the child that God does not will to happen." (This concept can get challenging when trying to teach cause and effect.)

Perhaps it's also because there is a basic unity of religion. There are many things I do not know about Islam and what it has to say about raising children. I can only speak from what I've noticed in my interactions with the culture, but it makes sense that having the same core fundamental beliefs, though there are Muslims here from many different countries, would make parents more trusting of one another.
  Perhaps it's the widespread feeling of safety from a competent government and security force.  Maybe it's a combination of a lot of things, but the way of raising children in the Middle East is a stark contrast to the way of the United States. I have found it pushing me to question where the line should be drawn for a child's independence and the intricate balance between the free-range movement and cloistered children, set in the crazy reality of our world. That it causes me to question is good... but I'm still figuring out the answer.

A New Chapter

It began with the only family we had a relationship with in Ruwais deciding they were going to leave after this school year for a position somewhere else. As Ruwais is a little isolated and insular in some ways, it takes time to develop relationships and between work, life and not much to do, we just hadn't been around a lot of other people at that point. This, combined with several other reasons:
-Our children are getting older, and we want them to learn another Romance language more naturally from immersion in the culture.
-The weight of the artificial feel of things created and placed in a desert environment and
-The difficulty we've noticed people having of staying healthy here (along with other things) all combined in a decision to find a new position at the end of this contract.

I love what we have learned from this culture. I respect the people and their amazing hospitality. I appreciate the ways they have created awe-inspiring things in the desert. I am blessed to have met Muslims who very firmly believe in peace and who are trying to show the world that the terrorists you read about are not the only Muslims. I will miss with a vengeance the beautiful expats who reached out to me when I was pregnant and without support in a new place. It has been so nice to get to learn about the cultures of people from countries we haven't been in contact with before: Philippines, South Africa, UK, Holland, Nigeria, Ireland, Jordan, Egypt, India...The people are the best part of the desert.

However, we will definitely come away with a new appreciation for living green things.

(The punchline: The family who originally inspired us to start looking for a new position, will probably stay here for next year after all.)

Winter Break and the Best Part of Ruwais

The best part of living in the Western Region of Abu Dhabi is the relationships you get to build with the people. There aren't a lot of things to do unless you create them: the park, the beach, the mall or recreation center are just places that serve for meeting people. There is a wide variety of nationalities represented in this place. So, for winter break, we had the opportunity to spend time with some of these people that make this place special.

Life in Abu Dhabi has consistently been made better by Filipino friends.

Taking a break at the beach with American friends.

Spending time with our friends as a complete family is challenging during the normal work week, so having a chance to visit during this more relaxed time has been really nice. We got together with our friends from the UK and Holland as well, but it was so much fun that I only have this picture, snapped by a friend as I was playing darts. (I won! It was luck. My method is simple: chunk the dart at the target and hope it hits!)

Ezra helping me play darts...

We've enjoyed having time to get to know our Nigerian neighbor better as well. She was a hairdresser in Nigeria and she asked if she could do Talia's hair one day. Talia had fun with it! She has taught us a few words in Yoruba and helped us learn more about her home countries food and custom

Our Nigerian friend fixed Talia's hair for Winter break.

As many of the people we began our desert journey with are ending their contracts and planning to move on, it is nice to touch base again with the friends we have together in this particular moment before everyone scatters again. This particular mix of people will probably never be together, even on the same continent, again. This is part of living the expat teacher life that is surprising sometimes, (like when you DO end up with someone you knew from a different continent together again on a completely new one) sad sometimes (It's always hard to leave/watch leave) and inspiring you to seize the moment every time.

Elias Turns 3

Elias was so excited about his birthday this year! I think it's the first one he's been old enough to anticipate and really understand. He (very nicely) asked if he could have a chocolate star cake this year with strawberries, his favorite. He also wanted "lots of balloons!"

I had two circle cake pans, but I figured I could find a tutorial online to turn two circles into a star, and sure enough, I did! Basically, you turn one into a pentagon and cut the other into 6 (one extra) even sliced triangles by removing the rounded part, and stick them together.

I used this devil's food cake recipe by Laura Vitale and the icing again is chocolate whipped cream (from this recipe) because it pairs so nicely with the fruit my kids always request. I did the writing with cream cheese icing for color contrast.

We recycled one of Ben's pretty blue flavored water bottles for a vase and put one of the gorgeous yellow marigold's from our garden in it. It has lasted all month.

Elias is a thoughtful, decisive little boy. He is always observing what's around him and figuring out how things work. We love him very much and look forward to many more birthdays with this special guy.

December's First Days: National Day and Murder

These first few days of December have been full of events:

 On December 2nd the U.A.E. celebrated their 43rd year as a nation. There were amazing airshows, fireworks and celebrations all over the U.A.E. Dubai's famous Burj Khalifa, the tallest tower in the world, had a huge firework display from its many different levels. The Corniche in Abu Dhabi had beautiful displays along its coastline. In Ruwais, the mall was decorated with National Day colors and the schools had special assemblies and are off this week, but I'm not sure if anything else happened. I'm just enjoying the time with the whole family together.

Also happening this week is Elias' 3rd birthday, which he has been counting down to ever since August. It's probably the first one he can really understand what it's all about and be talking enough to express that.

December 1st, however, is what made the news back home: A woman in a niqab and gloves waited  in the restroom until the woman, an American teacher she appears to have been waiting for, entered. People heard arguing. The American was found later stabbed. The ambulance didn't get there in time. The American teacher was the mother of 11 year old twins. Their father was contacted and coming for them last I heard. Police said today on Twitter via AbuDhabiPolice that the suspect was caught and it is being labeled an act of terrorism since after the stabbing she supposedly went to bomb an American doctor's house.

If your goal in life is "safety," then there is still nothing here to worry about compared to the States. (That's not our goal and I believe that "safety" is an illusion in the first place.) This is an unusual event and the only one of its kind that I've heard of the whole time we've been here. 

Green Spaces

I recently had a conversation with a friend comparing this desert to the desert of Las Vegas. Las Vegas, they said, was all sand, buildings and plastic "grass." Coming to Ruwais, then, it was refreshing to find more trees and grass than they had expected. 

There is an extensive gardening and landscaping effort throughout each city I've visited in Abu Dhabi. Miles and miles of Palm trees line the highways watered by even more miles of black hoses that utilize desalinated water from the gulf and give gardeners from places like  Bangladesh and jobs.

I have read some complaints about the amount of energy and water that is used to produce these green places in the desert and I'm not sure how to solve that problem, but every time I see these green places, I appreciate them. I'm not sure there's a way to measure, but I would bet it helps people stay sane and continue living here longer.

Coffee: Convenience over Culture

How great of a marketing feat must it be to go to a country famous for its high quality coffee and get most of the population to drink coffee crystals rehydrated with hot water?

This is a question posed in conversation with some friends the other day while discussing the prevalence of Nescafé (in Guatemala sometimes jokingly called no-es-café, or "it's not coffee") throughout the world. Guatemala had ideal conditions for quality coffee: lots of high elevation cultivation land that was 2) enriched with volcanic soil. Supposedly, these two qualities contributed to some of the best flavored coffee. Like most quality things produced by Guatemala, most of the general public never consumed it, but rather exported it.

While coffee isn't an export here, it is still very much a part of the culture. If you have business to do in a bank or other important office, sometimes you will be offered coffee or tea while you are waiting. Turkish or Arabic coffee, (coffee mixed with cardamom or other spices) is something associated with this region... and yet, almost everybody drinks Nescafé.

Perhaps, like many things, it's an example of convenience over culture.

Weaving and Middle Eastern Culture

This August Ben's mom came for a visit and we had an opportunity to visit a lot of the tourist places we wouldn't visit otherwise and show her the things that make Abu Dhabi what it is. One of the places we visited was the Heritage Village: a place preserving the traditions of the people who lived here before the discovery of oil created an explosion in their economical status and subsequently, their population and they no longer survived off of the land unless they chose to.

One of many craft booths available there was a weaving shop. I really appreciate things made by hand and especially those with beautiful detail and bright colors.

The gentleman at the loom was very friendly and passionate about his work. He was social and patient and enjoyed interacting with my husband in Arabic. He asked if we were Muslim, and when my husband responded that we were Christians, his eyes lit up and he told us the story of the Muslims and Christians in his country of Egypt who surrounded each other so that each could pray in safety.

 He was like most Muslims I have met here: respectful.

Something living in Abu Dhabi has shown us is the super hospitable, family oriented, and honorable side of a culture we would have never seen from in the States. I am thankful for the experience.

Butterfly Birthday

For her birthday party this year, Talia chose a butterfly theme. She looked through my recipe book and chose a yellow cake recipe and a chocolate whipped cream recipe for the frosting. She also chose a pineapple jam filling. We looked up how to make circle cakes cut and turned into a butterfly shape and she helped decorate it with fruit.

We used this cake recipe: http://divascancook.com/moist-yellow-cake-recipe-old-fashioned/

And something like this frosting recipe: 

http://duckysalwayshungry.wordpress.com/2012/05/14/chocolate-whipped-cream/

It was a lot of fun to make and then to share. The flavors combined nicely!

Lays Flavors in Abu Dhabi

Flavors I've never seen before: Spanish Black Olives, South African Cheese and Mexican Chili Con Carne.

Third Culture Kids: Learning Hindi and Arabic

Where we live now, we have the unique opportunity for Talia to attend a school right behind our house where she can learn Hindi and Arabic in addition to normal subjects. With language-lover parents and an interest in learning languages herself, combined with the closeness and super reasonable fees, it was a great opportunity. Hindi and Arabic both use a different alphabet than English, and that is where they are starting.

Talia's first Hindi alphabet lesson

 Many times what can be gained by living in another culture is found within the context of community, a context that can be avoided to a large degree in a land full of many expats. Some tend to stick to communities of people just like themselves and re-create the country they left behind to the best of their abilities. And, of course, time spent with familiar people and languages is definitely refreshing in a sea of unfamiliar languages and customs. However, the unique thing about Abu Dhabi is the immense variety of different cultures that are co-existing with the indigenous one. Most of the time harmoniously.

 Something we have to balance with third-culture kids (children raised outside of their parent's culture where they  have neither the culture of their parents, nor the culture of the land they live in, but rather a combination of both) is providing them with a stable home base and familiarity with the culture from their home country, but also finding ways for them to experience the culture they are living in as well. What's the point of living abroad if you're only going to insulate yourself and re-create something that will never live up to the original in your mind?

It can be challenging, but many times it's mind-stretching, interesting and fun!

Ezra's Birth Story

April 23, 2014

I woke up to my water breaking around 4:30 a.m. and as soon as I was sure... which only took about a minute, (there was a LOT,) I woke up Ben, who excitedly got up and took a shower. I wasn't having many contractions yet, and was surprised to have things happen in this order. With Elias, I went into labor and my water didn't break until just a little while before the pushing stage. Because of that, we had decided before to go to the hospital when my water broke, but, now I wasn't so sure. I got dressed while Ben was getting ready and called our friend to let her know (thank God for friends you can trust with your kids when you go into labor.) We decided to go ahead and take the kids and then go to the hospital and get through all of the paperwork.

The timing was perfect, Ben's alarm was set to get up and go to work just a few minutes after my water broke, if it had broken any later, he'd have probably been gone and had to drive back. It was a good day for him to be off, and happened where he was able to be with me three days and get the weekend in the middle of that as well. It was good timing for the kids to go to someone's house at the beginning of the day where they could go back to bed and everyone start on a sort of normal schedule. Our friend's car was in the shop at this time also, so not being in an emergency to get the kids there before going to the hospital was a blessing.

At the hospital there were so many ways I could see answered prayers. There were a million little ways every decision could have gone a completely different way and I could have been forced into something like induction, Cesarian, shots or other medications, and it didn't happen. I was able to refuse everything and sign waivers, not really what you want to deal with in labor, but much better than having no choice. The more nervous midwife who was having trouble letting me walk around and labor in peace went off shift and was replaced with a much more relaxed one. The doctors left me alone to labor for the most part except for a few instances and I was able to do it within the hospital's 6-12 hour policy for after water breaks. (Elias' labor was much longer than 6 hours, Ezra's was almost 6 exactly.)

Ezra was born at 10:45 a.m. and was 7 lbs, 12 oz and 19 inches long.

We practiced nursing all evening and he did really well… and apparently had at least 3 diaper’s full of green goo to show for it. I didn’t have the intense shaking like after Elias, just a little bit. The next day the pediatrician said Ezra was OK to go. The doctor released me as well, so 24 hours after delivering him, we were leaving. (The nurses acted surprised by that, but I’m not sure why.) I just know I felt like I was escaping jail as I left and the relief of not having anything else to refuse was intense. Recovery has been much easier than with either of my other births, and I'm so thankful for that.

So, now I have had a medicated, vaginal hospital birth with Talia, a natural homebirth with Elias and an unmedicated, vaginal hospital birth with Ezra. If given the choice, I would choose a homebirth again without hesitation. I’m thankful that this one went as well as it did and I'm so thankful for many answered prayers.   

Ezra is healthily beautiful and tiny (after being with Elias) and full of grins and cute noises.We're so happy to welcome him to our family!

Pregnancy and the Mirage of Control

There are several ways this third pregnancy has been different from my first two. The biggest difference has been the constant contractions from early on, that have gradually intensified the further along I've gotten. Many of the other differences are mental things compounded by our location.


The hardest part of this pregnancy,  in addition to being away from friends and family and especially my midwife, is how the nature of pregnancy has so much of it out of my control: I can’t be sure I will go into labor when Ben is home, I can’t be sure that I can give birth without complications, my preferred method of birth (out of a hospital) is illegal here... Nothing that I feel responsible for is really within my control- which are reasons that were true with the first two, but being surrounded by a network of people I trusted made that easier. This time I can’t even take care of my own kids well when I go into labor, and this was the part that made me feel the most desperate.  I’m thankful that God has provided someone I feel I can trust  with my kids (which, trust is also hard to do) long enough to have this new one. With that major concern out of the way, there are only a dozen others to constantly give back to the one with ultimate control. I’m having to learn a lot about letting go and realizing that my "control" is really a mirage to begin with and that God really does order our steps if we let Him, even when everything feels so wrong and I would do it all a completely different way if I possibly could. I can’t have this baby at home, though (unless he just comes really fast, but still going for a completely natural birth, supposedly made easier in the British model approach to maternity care in this hospital...) I can’t change my location and I’m not in charge of the timing of the birth of this baby ultimately.

I've been pregnant the whole time we've been in Ruwais, since we first moved in here in October, so after the major hot months coming up (right after the baby is due,) I'm looking forward to getting back into running and other physical things. As with Elias, I haven't even reached my pre-pregnancy weight that I had with Talia though I'm in my 39th week now, and that's something that reminds me that though there may be many things I can't control, the things that I can, do make a difference.

Ruwais Mall

When you move to a new place, I've found that it's usually best to try to live within what the culture has available rather than constantly trying to recreate things from home without the right ingredients. This is what we do most of the time, with the occasional special treat of making things like flour tortillas or other things we miss from Texas and Guatemala. What we've been able to experience this way, as a bonus, is one of the best parts of travel abroad: the local cuisine. In a multicultural place like Abu Dhabi, this has meant  a combination of Filipino, Indian, and a variety of Middle Eastern foods.

In Ruwais, especially, this has been the experience since the variety found in the many-malled area of Abu Dhabi is not available in this desert town a good 2.5 hours away, so finding something we missed from home even for special occasions was either a "see if someone feels like mailing it" or "just do without" thing. Part of this has changed with the new Ruwais Mall.

Some of the main things found at the mall that were difficult to get otherwise are flour tortillas, sour cream and salsa, some of our most missed and not-easy-to-make items. We still will only get them for special occasions, but it's nice to have the option!  Some other ways this will add variety to Ruwais, (soon, since all of the shops are not open yet) will include restaurants beyond the Indian/Arabic food option available, a wider variety of clothes and office/school supplies, baby supply shop and even a nutrition shop that might have more natural options for things like toothpaste, deodorant and coconut oil. That's what is important  to me... I know many of the other ladies are excited about a beauty salon and cinema.

I don't even know half of the new options this is going to provide, there's not too much I miss besides people and certain foods (I'm sure there's a connection there...) and I generally don't like malls, but just adding another air conditioned option for walking around during the the 100-125 degree months is a welcome diversion here.

Buildings With the Shades on the Outside

 With the hot desert sun always a consideration in Abu Dhabi, combined with the unique architectural competition seen throughout all of the newer buildings and structures, a plausible and creative solution would be a building that could shade itself against the sun when needed and open to the landscape when the sun were not so strong.

I don't know what these buildings are called, but that's exactly what they do! In the top photo you can see that it is evening, and if you look closely, that the shades are opened. In the bottom photo it is morning and the shades are closed.

10 Favorite Things About Winter in the Desert:

1) It's 70* degrees instead of 120*. 

2) You can open the door without your glasses fogging up and feeling like you're trying to breathe under water. 

3) Ben gets a good December break. 

4) The irony of watching people native to the desert put on thick coats for 60-70 degree weather is humorous. 

5) Kids can play outside for more than an hour without the risk of heat stroke. 

6) It's easier to stay hydrated while pregnant. 

7) Butter doesn't melt between the store and home a block away.  

8)The air conditioner actually goes off sometimes and we can open the windows! 

9) It's the growing season for tomatoes! 

10) They take the umbrellas off of the baby palm trees because they don't need as much protection now and they're prettier that way.

Thanksgiving in Abu Dhabi 2013

Since moving to Ruwais and not having as much contact with other Americans, celebrating American holidays has been a little different. Neither Ben nor I am very big on tradition, but I would at least like for our children to know what the traditional holidays from their culture are about. Especially Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. It doesn't have so much commercialization or controversial roots and has more focus on family and appreciating our blessings. So, for Thanksgiving this year, (now that Talia's writing well and Elias can color... sort of,) we made a Thanksgiving tree to think about things we are thankful for.

Our colors ended up more bright and, um, non-traditional for a fall tree this way, but it was fun to hear what Talia was thankful for and what she thought Elias was thankful for... (eggs, bananas, colors, oxygen, and all of our family's names all made it on the tree.)

I was excited when we were invited to celebrate Thanksgiving with some other families in Abu Dhabi city! With most of the main dishes taken care of, I searched my favorite recipe website for inspiration for vegetables and sides that I could make without canned things that are both hard to find and not something I prefer to use anyways. I ended up making green bean casserole with homemade fried onion topping, dinner rolls, tres leches cake, and a vegetable pot pie. My favorite (from these recipes,) and my husband's, was definitely the vegetable pot pie with the homemade pie crust... (and he really likes meat.) However, the tres leches cake was also another awesome recipe I will go back to.

We had a really nice time with friends who have become like family abroad. It was definitely a time surrounded by things and people we are thankful for.

U.A.E. 42nd National Day, City vs. Desert

Yesterday, a year ago, we were in our apartment on the Corniche. There were fireworks and an airshow visible from our balcony. Cars were gridlocked around the entire block for a full 12 hours trying to get to the Corniche to see the special decorations for the, then 41st, anniversary of the U.A.E. as a nation. We could hear people partying and see dancing and drumming in the parking lot waaaay into the night and next morning.

This year is different. In Ruwais, they have decorated with lights and the number 42 to celebrate, but the night was quiet and you could go without knowing anything different was going on. No airplanes have roared overhead spewing out colored smoke and no midnight fireworks were heard or visible from our villa. Except for the sound of construction during the day, everything is peaceful.

It's a big contrast, and for the most part, it leaves me thankful to be in a more country-like setting.

Some photos from the parade in the city can be seen here.
Here's a photo of the stunt planes shooting colored smoke with the Palm Jumeira in the background. (And here at a stadium and another in front of the Burj Khalifa.)