Decision Time: Phnom Penh or....?

It's that time of contract where we are having to decide: Do we stay in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, or do we move on? There are several things to consider:

Eating at an outside restaurant covered with arbors.

If we stay we have more stability for the kids, less moving expenses, and continuity of friendships we have taken the time to build this year.

If we go, there are more options for Ben's doctoral thesis topic, healthier places to raise the children, and "easier" places to live culturally.

Phnom Penh fountain from a tuktuk at night.

Since educators have to turn in a decision towards the beginning of their last school year  our time has come around. This divides things mentally: we either have about 8 and a half more months left, or, an indeterminate amount based on the contract that would be signed. This is the part of the cycle of international teaching that's a bit bittersweet, but also exciting. Do we stay in this place, or move on?

Outside of Phnom Penh city.

Of course, as a mom, I think about how Phnom Penh has impacted my children.

 

This will always be where Zoe was born.

Where Talia learned to fish in a muddy river

And experience Mondulkiri.

It is where Elias graduated from Kindergarten.

And Ezra frequented the hospital (thank God for $10 appointments) with bronchial trouble due to pollution.

And fell in love with his teacher "Mena".

It's where we've discovered tons of new-to-us fruit.

And Ben has had a wonderful opportunity to be a principal in a great school.

But is it a place we would want to stay in for longer?



That is the decision.

 

Pchum Ben 2017

I’m so thankful that I was able to fly to the States for Pchum Ben this year. Ever since Zoe was born in Cambodia we’ve been trying to figure out a good time to introduce her to family in the States. We wanted to do that while she was still a baby... and she’s growing so fast it felt like time was running out. She is more social than some babies I’ve introduced (cough*Elias*cough) to family. Look how she’s studying Papa!

It was so nice to be in Texas again.

Of course, it’s easier to just sleep than be social.

How much loving is too much?

She sure has a lot of people who love her.

So now she’s met her Mississippi family and Texas family, all before she’s quite walking. That counts, right?

We are so blessed to have most of our great grandparents for our children still alive.

We even got to attend a cousin’s wedding and see more grandparents and relatives there.

Besides the people, it was nice to see green grass!

Zoe loved exploring this new green stuff.

But coming home to the loves we couldn’t afford to fly with us was special too. Now the balance is between appreciating the opportunity to go home and battling the homesickness that surges afterwards. I actually got published on this topic on a website dedicated to helping expat Christian women. I don't share this to say I am anything, but maybe my hard-to-learn-lesson about homesickness will help you too: https://velvetashes.com/homesickness-feels-uncannily-like-grief/

Los Cabos Half Marathon

This morning was crazy. We were going to meet at 7, Ben had to be there at 6:30. He left and I tried to get everyone ready. I fixed Talia's hair and got Ezra ready while Elias had a meltdown. His meltdown continued while a co-worker called to ask for her things and as we had to run to the plaza. I ended up having to carry him while Talia carried Ezra. My co-worker grabbed her number and ran in the 5k. I was late so instead of running in my 5k I ran with my students in theirs. This was the first enjoyable part of the morning.

I was proud of Talia; she made it to the end without stopping!

I like running with her! I hope we get many more kilometers in together in the future.

(But with a less stressful morning, please!)

The "Insh'allah" Way of Raising Children

Coming from a country where parents are arrested or turned in to Child Protective Services for letting their children walk to the park alone, and then living in a place where kidnapping and other real threats existed, there's quite a bit to get adjusted to in the Arab culture. Children here are allowed to play in the streets without an adult present, though they are usually just a few steps away in their patio area or behind their window (though that's not always the case. I've heard stories of children under 10 running a house while their parents were out of country.) I've seen them run errands at the store a block away across a street. I've seen them going to the park several blocks away on their bikes. There is something refreshing about it, though I don't trust the system enough to follow suit. It does make me wonder why there is such a huge difference... and some of it seems to always go back to the concept of "Insh'allah" or "if God wills it," a phrase used for everything. A beautiful part of this concept is the complete acceptance of physically or mentally impaired children, since they are seen as something "God willed to be this way and who are we to question that?" However, it applies to the broader theme of parenting as well as there seems to be an underlying acceptance of the thought that "nothing can happen to the child that God does not will to happen." (This concept can get challenging when trying to teach cause and effect.)

Perhaps it's also because there is a basic unity of religion. There are many things I do not know about Islam and what it has to say about raising children. I can only speak from what I've noticed in my interactions with the culture, but it makes sense that having the same core fundamental beliefs, though there are Muslims here from many different countries, would make parents more trusting of one another.
  Perhaps it's the widespread feeling of safety from a competent government and security force.  Maybe it's a combination of a lot of things, but the way of raising children in the Middle East is a stark contrast to the way of the United States. I have found it pushing me to question where the line should be drawn for a child's independence and the intricate balance between the free-range movement and cloistered children, set in the crazy reality of our world. That it causes me to question is good... but I'm still figuring out the answer.

Birth & Memory= Past + Present Reality

I'm grateful that I didn't mentally rush to the end of my pregnancy. I hear many mothers wishing away their pregnancy and, though I don't think less of them and I can see where they are coming from, I'm grateful that I didn't do that. Contrary to many things in my life, pregnancy has been something I've never tried to rush.

With most things, I'm looking for the most efficient way possible to get it over with and overall not doing a very good job of "stopping to smell the roses." My reasons for not being that way with pregnancy haven't always been positive.

With my first pregnancy I was in no hurry to get it over with because everything was new and exciting- but also mainly I was too scared of birth to want it to arrive any faster than necessary.

The second time fear played a much less dominant role and I tried to savor the time... and I'm glad I did. Especially now.
Once a little one is born, many wonderful and new things are there to experience, but the pregnancy part is over (until pregnant again.) I've been blessed with wonderfully boring, healthy pregnancies both times, and while each trimester brings different challenges, there's not a part I'd be willing to skip. Now that I've experienced natural childbirth, birth is not a part I'm willing to skip either.

I have a theory that memories rarely stay true to strict reality, but morph- dependent on the reality of our present circumstances. However, memories are not only changed by the present, but the present is changed by those memories. The two are tied together and constantly changing each other. Sometimes this means enriching each other, like Elias's birth did for me. The memory of the birth is special to me. He is the special product of that birth that is always in my present. These two facts, though he is always changing and moving forward into the future, play off of each other and each make the other more special.

I think that how this works with regret depends on how we respond. Memory of lessons learned is a good thing if we let it be that: learned. It can push us to do better things or it can drag us down into self-destructive, vicious cycles.

It's wonderful to me how Elias and his birth have not only helped me bond with him, but have given me a new dimension of appreciation for Talia as well. His little milestones help me remember hers with greater clarity. Her awed, careful responses to him just makes all of it so much sweeter when combined with all of the ways I've been blessed to watch her grow and mature. She puts perspective to how little he really is and he reminds me how far, really, she has come from infancy.

Birth is life changing, no matter how you experience it. I'm glad I get to view it from this perspective.

Homeschooling Field Trip: Visiting the Zoo

Above: Talia with a silverback gorilla.

Talia loves animals, so the zoo is an amazing place to her. In Guatemala City, La Aurora Zoo in the capital is a small zoo with mostly little cages for their animals, but it was the first zoo she was old enough to appreciate- being old enough to know what the animals were.

Above: Watching the penguins.

When we had the opportunity to visit the DFW zoo while on a trip to the States, she couldn't wait! This time, she knew their names and if they were herbivores, omnivores or carnivores and she could make more detailed observations. It was a great science extension for what we had been studying in home school.

Above: Snakes, something we'd rather experience in the zoo than in the wild!

She especially enjoyed the water species where she could get a good view up close because of the glass. This turtle (below) was a particular favorite!

Something I like about the zoo is that it is something she can appreciate at many ages and still learn something new every time! How do you use the zoo as a teaching tool?

Childhood Artwork

My daughter, like most kids, has always loved drawing. She is constantly creating pictures on her magnetic drawing board, in the dirt with a stick, with colors on her paper or any other way she can figure out. I love it when she draws because it shows me a little bit more what the world looks like through her eyes... and most of the time, her depictions make me laugh in appreciation!

One of her favorite things to draw are bugs, spiders, butterflies and bumblebees. Once, a little, smiling bug appeared on the lid of her laundry pail (below.) He was so jovial and full of character, it was hard to explain how it wasn't appropriate to draw on the furniture with a straight face.

I think it's interesting that her pictures always involve characters from nature at this point in time. I like that she has enough contact with nature to feel that it is the natural thing for her to draw. However, it always has her own twist, like the spider (below) who looks quite startled!

At first, she would only use one color, when she used colors, to draw the entire picture. But as she has matured, she has begun to use multiple colors together to create a picture, like this picture of ducks in a pond:

Also, instead of drawing just outlines of things, she has recently begun coloring in some of her picture. Here, she was making a picture of a painted bunting for our neighbor as a thank you card for a book about birds for her birthday. I thought her bird turned out cute and had all of the right colors. He made me smile! :)

Do I think my child is a genius artist in the making? Not really... but I love seeing her art develop and appreciate all of the laughs and smiles she brings me with her whimsical pictures.

Moving to Guatemala/Abroad with Children for the First Time: Interview- Things to Bring

Another soon-to-be expat mother moving to Africa posted some questions for advice on what to bring:

 1. What are the top 3 kitchen items you would take to a foreign country?
2. What are the best children's books you would take?
3. What are the best toys/activities that occupy kids on a VERY LONG plane ride?
4. What would you put on your iPod? Favorite Worship Songs? Best all around music?
5. What Podcasts do you listen to?
6. Favorite games?
Thanks for your input!!

When we moved to Guatemala, I had many of the same questions, so I thought I would share what worked for us. It will also help me remember what to bring in our upcoming international experience with 2 children this time.

1.When we moved to Guatemala, the kitchen things I missed the most were GOOD cooking utensils. Everything easily available in Guatemala was plastic that melted when it got hot. Yuck! I am glad I brought my good knives, and the mixer came in handy.

2. Since we moved when our daughter was barely talking, but planned to eventually homeschool- here's what worked for me with books: Between the ages of 2 and 3 there is literally a brain and language explosion! I was grateful that I brought books that could work for several age ranges including some that are good for beginning readers. Our daughter loved the Dr. Seuss, Curious George and things like that. I tried to mainly bring the ones that were big books with many stories inside to cut down on luggage. One thing is certain, no matter what you bring, it seems more books are always going to be in demand.

3. Something my daughter really likes are those magnetic drawing boards with the "pencil" attached and the little lever that "erases" the picture so that you can start over. I like it because it isn't messy and we can practice letters, drawing and storytelling. Besides this, we use books, a variety of snacks and that's about it. Guatemala was only a 3 hour flight for us, thankfully, so we haven't invested in electronic gadgets yet. Something I think she would really enjoy is an MP3 player with headphones since she loves music so much.

4. I wished I had access to more worship music in English in Guatemala, because I realized that my daughter was missing out on it and that she really enjoyed it when we came back to the States to visit. For her, specifically the simple worship songs work well since she's still learning the words. (Which I thought ironic since I hate worship music for the same repetition that makes it easy for her.) For you? I'm not good at suggesting music...

5. N/A

6. Right now we're really into tactile games like Jenga and blocks. But I like that we have Dominoes because it's really great for math/matching concepts(and making trains.) We also like Uno, Phase 10 and "Bancopoly;" the Guatemalan version of Monopoly. I look forward to when we can play games like Apples to Apples as a family. I have to admit, however, that no game beats just regular play outside with grass, dirt, pebbles and sticks and anything found in your new natural environment. Kids love nature (mostly) and can have a ball with the simplest items outside combined with a great imagination!

Hopefully,  that was some help, though we have different kinds of kids and ages. I know that no matter how much you plan, when you get there you'll still realize something you'll have wished you'd brought. But it's OK. We're moms and improvising is one of our superpowers! ;)


Do you have suggestions for things that worked for you when moving abroad, particularly with children?

Beauty Through my Daughter's Eyes

My little girl sees things differently than I do. She looks at people and doesn't notice weight or symmetry or age or things I've been trained to see, but focuses directly on their smile and how they can connect with her. Those who take the time to talk to her and show her they care get a special title.

She thinks those people are "beautiful."

This goes for women and men alike. The older gentleman who always stops to shake her hand at church is "such a nice man! I like to shake his hand!" Our neighbor who stops feeding her chickens to talk to her is "beautiful!" Age has no bearing, she only sees if people care or not.

I know that from a young age you are shaped by people in your environment and their actions. This impacts me in two ways.
First, it helps me know how children view me and how little things I do can be so big in their eyes.
Second, it helps me realize how I am thankful that my daughter can find beauty in people who might otherwise be overlooked. I hope that one day this will go from seeing beauty in others to developing it in herself and passing it on.

Birthdays with Family in the States

Something nice about being home for the baby's birth is that we also made it home in time for Talia's birthday! Birthday's just aren't the same without family... So this year is special for that reason, if not because it's her last birthday as an only child. :)

Talia requested chocolate cake with chocolate icing and strawberries. I made the cake and icing and put the strawberries, but my mom gets the credit for the creative edging. I thought it was delicious, the baby must have too (from the way he kicked afterwards) and, importantly, Talia loved it!

Something we had to be careful about were presents. We were clear up front that anything received would have to be able to fit into a suitcase for our next adventure once little man is born, or it might get left behind. That's just how it goes. Happily, Talia's still at the age where cutting the ribbon off of the package and ripping open the paper are totally what makes getting a present, not the actual gift... but our family was very thoughtful and her gifts are definitely stuff we can use and she'll enjoy!

Talia woke up this morning so excited because it was her birthday. It's funny to see how much she can understand and appreciate now. I'm glad we were able to share this one with family!

Getting Ready for Homeschooling Abroad

Talia has been doing really well recognizing letters and knowing which sounds go with them, including some blends, for a while now. Since I am homeschooling this year, part of my challenge has been figuring out which of the millions of options will work best for me in a place outside of the States and where shipping is not really worth it. Suitcases are already limited with space on the trips home, so that's not the greatest, or only option I would like to have.

Part of this problem we solve by using Starfall's online supplementary curriculum. Some of the reading challenges will be solved by using the online accessible Reading A-Z program and other online stories. However, though my daughter likes working on the computer, it's not really something I want her stuck to all of the time. Learning is so much more than a brain thing. Especially at her age, the whole body helps her learn!

Something she's really enjoyed is an "Alphabet Fun Sticker Book" by School Zone. It has helped reinforce all of the letters and their sounds, and taken it to the next step of recognizing which sounds words begin with. (Plus, she loves getting the stickers neatly in their boxes.) After working with this slowly over a few days, she came up to me and started talking about all of the words she could think of that started with the "ssss" sound, even though we hadn't studied the "S" in the book yet. She knew that "S" made that sound and came up with: snake, sock, sun and several other words that also started with "S." I was excited that she was making that connection with oral language and not just with the written letters in front of her. She can take the sounds of a word and spell it with the refrigerator letter magnets, but hasn't quite gotten that in reverse yet putting all of the sounds of a written word back together to quite be completely reading yet. But soon!

With reading, I have a plan and an idea of how to work with her at home, at least for this coming year. With math, I felt a little helpless. Talia knows how to count to 29 consistently, and if I tell her what comes after the following _9's, she can continue to 100. She has made the connection between each hand having 5 fingers and says "Look, mommy, two 5's make 10!" or "I have 2 bananas and there's 1 over there, that makes 3!" So I think addition will be a natural next step for her. I just have to get over my own phobia of numbers. I found several workbooks in the States for math that I think will help with that. I have ideas for manipulatives as well. Advice from people who've done this before, though, is always welcome!

Part of homeschooling is knowing your child and where they are in different areas and focusing on how to get them to the next level, no matter how nontraditional or unschool-like that approach might, or is able to be. Surely at first it is always a bit apprehensive to think of what will be needed before you have experience, but hopefully this will improve when I gain that experience.

Do you have any ideas for math or reading that worked for you starting out? How about homeschooling abroad? Or just sorting through the many, many homeschooling options without going broke or crazy? I'd love to hear other parents' thoughts who've gone down this road before.

Learning to Read: Part 1

Since Talia was 1 1/2 we've been using http://www.starfall.com/ to introduce letters and their sounds (along with the regular old-fashioned book-reading!) Now that she is 3 she knows all of her letters and many of their sounds.

That is no record. I've seen sign-language taught babies reading before 2 years of age. But I'm not wanting to make this into a comparison, good or bad, of my child versus the rest in the world. It's just what we do. The key, I'm finding, is small, consistent steps that follow the pace and interest of your own child.

Starfall isn't something we spend hours on a day, or even visit every day. We go through an average of 4 letters each time, 5 days out of the week. This little bit of consistency, though, has shown results. She can spell her name and is getting better and better at writing the other letters on her own.

Along with this we like to play with the refrigerator magnet letters, point at letters in advertisements, and play with how the letters make funny sounds when you put them together in random (and sometimes mom-influenced) strings.

I teach 5th grade Language to children where, thankfully, most still love to read. The 5 or 6 who don't spend those consistent little bits of time in a book, have a hard time in many other subjects. I want Talia to learn to enjoy discovering words and ideas through reading.

Next year we are planning on beginning the homeschooling process, and, while in Guatemala- Starfall has a promising supplementary program for $35 a year that covers not only reading but other basic math facts, music and more which would be great since it's online. (Less to haul in a suitcase!)I am still looking into other curriculum options, but feel free to put in your opinion!

How do you encourage YOUR kids to read?

(p.s. Starfall is not paying me to write this, I just like the program. ;))